Losing It – Week Four

Well, I made it. Woot! One whole month of eating well thanks to Sprout Right, and doing Jillian’s Michael’s shred but let’s face it, I only really got two good weeks in there. I came out of the gate like a champion filly and slowly faded like a glue factory horse thanks to allergies that evolved into a charming sinus cold.

Nothing stops me dead in my tracts like a sinus cold although I’m sure my family loves it (if they can ignore the whining) because I’m all about serving them grilled cheese and movies in bed so I don’t have to move too much. My husband had hockey practice on Wednesday and I couldn’t muster enough energy to get the kids to bed so I propped up my computer with a Scooby Doo movie to the delight of my three-year old, and handed my iPhone to my five-year old to play games, and just sank into a delicious Sudafed coma. They eventually just got bored and fell asleep around me like feral cats.

The month was anything but a failure though.

I did manage to avoid fast food for whole month and considering I often say, “let’s just order a meat lover’s pizza with extra cheese.” that’s a pretty big deal.

I also managed to do 21 days of the Shred which is about 20 days more than I would have done if I hadn’t told you guys about it. I really can’t believe how much my fitness level increased in that short amount of time – I especially notice a difference in my strength and cardio but I still can’t do those stupid, fucking plank jacks. They are just wrong.

My plan is to keep it up three days a week once my head doesn’t hurt if I tip it forward so I will be shredded before you know it.

I lost 5 solid pounds (7  depending on the time of day I weigh myself and the Sudafed dehydrating effects this week) and almost 2 inches off my thighs and hips, an inch off my chest and a whole 3-and-a-half inches off my waist which is unbelievable. My jeans fit right out of the wash – no deep knee bends to work them in or anything.

My husband lost over 12 pounds. I’m pretty sure it’s more by now but he’s scared to tell me (and he damn well should be.)

I have also learned many valuable lessons like never let myself get hungry. This rule is similar to never talking about Fight Club or getting a Gremlin wet because I make some really bad decisions when I’m hungry and I’m surprising reasonable when I’m not walking around starving. Kate Moss always says that nothing tastes as good as skinny feels and I would argue that hot dog water tastes better than skinny feels when I’m hungry although, I don’t make my living from being a supermodel and I don’t snort a pillow case of coke every Tuesday so we’re probably coming at this from a different place.

Amazingly, I didn’t find it all that difficult once I got over the hump of the first three days so I’m really keen to keep it up. Go me, right?!

So thank you to all of you for your constant words of support and for holding me accountable. There’s no way I could have done any of this without you. I’ll keep chipping away at it and I’ll update you periodically but, in the meantime, all you pregnant ladies keep on trucking and know that if I can get this off, anyone can.

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  • Loved that you brought us with you on your journey. I’m 37 weeks and some days now and I’m having a hard time with the weight part. I’ve had issues with my weight pre-pregnancy but I had a healthy routine, had gotten to my lowest weight ever and then bam got pregnant. I’m worried that it will be hard to shed these pounds off, I’ve gained more than the 20. But reading your per week post made me realize I’m not alone in the struggle. Might not be easy or pretty but it can happen. Thanks for this! Actually thanks for existing you crack me up!

  • you made me laugh so hard. i am ten weeks pregnant. i cannot stop eating and i don’t think i really laughed or felt the slightest bit happy until i read posts on your website and skepchick.org today. in theory, i’m happy. in reality, i feel exhausted and am living on a diet worse than that of an obese fifth grader (think fish sticks, tater tots, chips…it’s bad and i usually eat so healthy that it’s freaking me out). i can’t stomach anything else though and i swear i breathe fire in the direction of anyone who suggests i should.

    anyway, thank you for making me feel understood and not alone in this crazy fatty food coma i am indulgently sinking into:)

  • i dont know how long ago this is from but holy effing sheez-balls it is funny! i made the decision this week as I was doing my own deep knee bends to shimmy on my tight ass jeans (which clearly shrunk in the wash) that i really needed to dig out my jillian michaels dvd and let her kick my ass around a little. thanks for the eyes-squinted-shut-peed-myself-a-little laughs and the motivation to really get started again- i’ll be looking up that website for recipes

  • OH MY GOSH. I just read through the whole journey, starting with the orangutan picture, and you are one of the funniest bloggers I've had the pleasure of reading. Thank you for making me crack up, and I hope all is still well!

  • Omg! so i found your site because my sister in law PINNED your "10 things they dont tell you after giving birth" i laughted so hard at #7!!! i felt the exact way!! wanted to kill my hubbz with my breast pump!! actually one time thanks to the hormones, i had actaully just pumped, and h e and our son were napping at like 3pm in the afternoon! i was so tired, finished laundry etc. that i woke him up by dumping my freshly pumped milk on him! then i ran to the bathroom and cried for what felt like an eternity! its funny now..
    but yes… i love your posts. So funny! and so REAL!! just finished reading your "losing it" weeks 1-4. GREAT JOB!!! i feel the same way when i exercise… if i dont loose 10 lbs the first day i feel hopeless.. LOL
    but thanks to pinterest i saw a picture of what 5lb of fat really looks like, so i wont kill myself if thats all i lose! 🙂
    i look forwar to getting around your blog more and having LOL moments from reading 😀

  • Reading about your month has helped me keep going with all of my weight loss efforts. (my doctors want me to lose about 100lbs to avoid a knee replacement before I'm 40) and I'm pretty sure I lost at least a few ounces just laughing my ass off while I read your blogs!

  • i really love your blogs! your sense of humor is absolutely messed up and oh so perfect. really glad to have found your page and congrats on your weight loss so far 😀

  • Gurl – that 30 day shred is NO JOKE! I about died in stage one! It is happily sitting in my basement collecting dust! You should be so proud you did it for a month! Super MOM for real!

  • The tough thing for me was that I never, ever had one craving for vegetables. Instead I dreamt of cheeseburgers and canadian bacon pizza with fresh tomatoes on top. (sigh) Good for you for making the huge effort to shift your diet!

    I also wanted to let you and your readers know that we're hosting a giveaway of a Hygeia Professional Grade Breast Pump at Greenbabyguide.com. The contest is open until Friday and there are multiple ways to win, so stop by!

  • I Love this blog!! You make me laugh so hard that I actually had to restrain myself from reading it for two weeks after delivering my twins. I was afraid the uncontrollable giggling would pop my stiches. Have you tried Jillians yoga meltdown dvd? Its as awesome as the shred without all of the damp carpet!

  • Wow, way to go! That's great. I've tried the Shred but it makes my back very sore.

    For what it's worth, me and the other half have been losing weight for about 18 months. I have so far lsot 18kg and he lost 13kg. He lost the first 10kg SO quickly, even though I was much better with food and did exercise. I think (some) men just lose weight faster than women!

  • Love the blog – love following your losing it series. Maybe I'll kick start my blog again. You inspire me – and make me pee a little, which is only marginally related to pregnant bladder.

  • Wow, super impressed by all the changes you made! …I made it through week one. >.< I blame it on the newest little one and her need to change her schedule every day. However, I'm going to try again come May! 6 days a week, come whatever the heck may. Maybe I'll blog about it too, so I can get those 20 extra days I won't get to otherwise. =D

  • Great Job on your 30 day shred! You've inspired me to take the same plunge since I'm one of those "lucky" ladies that didn't lose any weight breastfeeding.

  • Wooo! Congrats on a good start! My new baby girl will be 3 weeks old tomorrow so today (since I finally feel comfortable starting) I started the first official exercise… I broke out my beloved Ab Circle Pro. (If you don't have one, GET ONE! They are freakin' awesome!) I lost all but 9lbs of my pregnancy weight (yay for having baby and breastfeeding!) I'd still like to lose about 20lbs MORE than just that so we'll see how that goes!! Keep it up so you can keep me motivated! I'm also keeping my eye on this one dress in my closet… that dress IS my goal! And my black bikini… and summer is quickly approaching… yikes!

  • That's awesome! I guess if this doesn't pan out, you can always try the pillow case of coke. 🙂

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