Clever Pregnancy Comebacks : Part Two

Here are some more comebacks for the dumb questions that people ask. A few of these zingers are from Twitter and Facebook peeps!

“Feeling fat yet?”

  • Whoa, I was just going to ask you the same thing. How weird is that?!
  • That’s right. Feelin’ phat with a “ph”, Hooker.
  • You feelin’ lucky, Punk?

“You still haven’t had that baby yet?”

  • I’m trying to hold it in so I can finish a novel I’m working on.
  • Oh, I had it, I just left it in the car today.
  • Assholethatstatestheobvioussayswhat?
  • Don’t worry; you will know when your husband starts paying child support.
  • I had it yesterday but I’m trying to shoplift this basketball so could you bugger off?

“You better sleep now because once that baby gets here…”

  • Why!? Don’t they sleep?! Next you’ll tell me they poop too.
  • (lower your voice then say) Actually, I don’t sleep now. I just sneak into your bedroom and watch you sleep. You sleep like an angel. My secret, dirty, little angel.
  • Sleep is for pussies and ugly people.

“Was this an accident?”

  • Were you?
  • As much of an accident as if I fired out and punched you in the face right now.
  • Yes! I tripped and fell on a dick.

“You’re so small!”

  • A really heavy person said that to me yesterday too. I guess it’s all relative.
  • I had my internal organs removed so I wouldn’t have to buy bigger pants.
  • I know. I can still deliver a clean roundhouse to someone’s face. Isn’t that great?

Check out part one, part three and the multiple edition as well!

More from Amy Morrison

100 Great Gifts Ideas for Babies Under One

If you have a baby you’re going to be asked about gift...
Read More

You May Also Like

35 Comments

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.