pregnancy calendar

Week 5 of Pregnancy

This is around the time that you usually know something is up. Where the hell is my period? Why do my boobs hurt? Why…

Week 4 of Pregnancy

So your blastocyst has parked itself on your uterine wall and it has split in two – one side will become the embryo, and…

Week 3 of Pregnancy

Now you’ve gone and done it and fertilized an egg, you dirty birds. Nice work. The fertilized egg is now a zygote. Which I…

Week 2 of Pregnancy

You’re still not pregnant, but your body is building up your uterine lining to prep for ovulation. If you’re paying attention, you’ll notice an…

Week 1 of Pregnancy

Let’s be honest here, there really is no week one. This is the first day of your last period and this is what you’ll…

Week 42 of Pregnancy

  Hey Bud, 42 weeks. Here we are. If you’re still pregnant you’ve probably had the induction chat. Generally speaking, 42 weeks is the…

Week 41 of Pregnancy

All these updates are getting tricky for me because I have no way of knowing if you’re still pregnant or holding a baby. If…

Week 40 of Pregnancy

Run to the top of the steps and do your victory dance, Rocky! You made it! No? Too winded and feeling like you’re pinned…

Week 39 of Pregnancy

Are you at the point where people are picking up the phone saying “Is the baby coming?!” when you call? It’s right around this…

Week 38 of Pregnancy

I love how some sites are still comparing your baby to fruits and vegetables at this point. If they want to show you what…

Week 37 of Pregnancy

Can I get a woot woot for full term? Aw, hell yeah! You’re good to go anytime now, sugar bum. Well, that’s sort of…

Week 36 of Pregnancy

“Have you set up the nursery?” That is all anyone asked me for the last few weeks of my pregnancy along with “Haven’t you…

Week 35 of Pregnancy

Okay, throughout this whole pregnancy you’ve probably been thinking about how you’re going to raise your child (at least I hope you have). Well,…

Week 33 of Pregnancy

Your baby is pretty close to being finished growing lengthwise, but it will do some serious beefing up over the next seven weeks. Many…

Week 32 of Pregnancy

Hey, how are your legs? Restless leg syndrome is not dangerous or a sign that anything is wrong but it can be uncomfortable and…

Week 31 of Pregnancy

If it hasn’t happened already, this is about the time people start saying things like, “Haven’t you had that baby yet?” To this, you…

Week 30 of Pregnancy

Week 30! Hell yeah! Look at you go and look at that baby grow. Thanks to your little wonder, which is about a three-pound…

Week 29 of Pregnancy

Hey stretch marks, guess what? You’re an asshole. Stretch marks are caused when your skin stretches or grows rapidly and the protein that makes…

Week 28 of Pregnancy

Woohoo! Third trimester, baby! Your baby is around 16 inches long and 2.5 pounds so pick up a random Chihuahua on the street to…