pregnancy calendar

Week 5 of Pregnancy

This is around the time that you usually know something is up. Where the hell is my period? Why do my boobs hurt? Why…

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Week 4 of Pregnancy

So your blastocyst has parked itself on your uterine wall and it has split in two – one side will become the embryo, and…

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Week 3 of Pregnancy

Now you’ve gone and done it and fertilized an egg, you dirty birds. Nice work. The fertilized egg is now a zygote. Which I…

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Week 2 of Pregnancy

You’re still not pregnant, but your body is building up your uterine lining to prep for ovulation. If you’re paying attention, you’ll notice an…

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Week 1 of Pregnancy

Let’s be honest here, there really is no week one. This is the first day of your last period and this is what you’ll…

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Week 42 of Pregnancy

  Hey Bud, 42 weeks. Here we are. If you’re still pregnant you’ve probably had the induction chat. Generally speaking, 42 weeks is the…

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Week 41 of Pregnancy

All these updates are getting tricky for me because I have no way of knowing if you’re still pregnant or holding a baby. If…

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Week 40 of Pregnancy

Run to the top of the steps and do your victory dance, Rocky! You made it! No? Too winded and feeling like you’re pinned…

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Week 39 of Pregnancy

Are you at the point where people are picking up the phone saying “Is the baby coming?!” when you call? It’s right around this…

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Week 38 of Pregnancy

I love how some sites are still comparing your baby to fruits and vegetables at this point. If they want to show you what…

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Week 37 of Pregnancy

Can I get a woot woot for full term? Aw, hell yeah! You’re good to go anytime now, sugar bum. Well, that’s sort of…

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Week 36 of Pregnancy

“Have you set up the nursery?” That is all anyone asked me for the last few weeks of my pregnancy along with “Haven’t you…

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Week 35 of Pregnancy

Okay, throughout this whole pregnancy you’ve probably been thinking about how you’re going to raise your child (at least I hope you have). Well,…

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Week 34 of Pregnancy

Wow your baby is about five pounds now so if you wanted to get an idea of what it would be like to have…

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Week 33 of Pregnancy

Your baby is pretty close to being finished growing lengthwise, but it will do some serious beefing up over the next seven weeks. Many…

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Week 32 of Pregnancy

Hey, how are your legs? Restless leg syndrome is not dangerous or a sign that anything is wrong but it can be uncomfortable and…

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Week 31 of Pregnancy

If it hasn’t happened already, this is about the time people start saying things like, “Haven’t you had that baby yet?” To this, you…

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Week 30 of Pregnancy

Week 30! Hell yeah! Look at you go and look at that baby grow. Thanks to your little wonder, which is about a three-pound…

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Week 29 of Pregnancy

Hey stretch marks, guess what? You’re an asshole. Stretch marks are caused when your skin stretches or grows rapidly and the protein that makes…

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Week 28 of Pregnancy

Woohoo! Third trimester, baby! Your baby is around 16 inches long and 2.5 pounds so pick up a random Chihuahua on the street to…

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