Pregnancy

Week 30 of Pregnancy

Week 30! Hell yeah! Look at you go and look at that baby grow. Thanks to your little wonder, which is about a three-pound…


Week 29 of Pregnancy

Hey stretch marks, guess what? You’re an asshole. Stretch marks are caused when your skin stretches or grows rapidly and the protein that makes…


Week 28 of Pregnancy

Woohoo! Third trimester, baby! Your baby is around 16 inches long and 2.5 pounds so pick up a random Chihuahua on the street to…


Week 27 of Pregnancy

How ya doin’? Are you scared about the whole birth thing? I don’t think there are many women that aren’t nervous about giving birth…


Week 26 of Pregnancy

Hang in there, kid, you’re doing great! Pregnancy may be taking its toll by now. Some of you are saying, “What are you talking…


Week 25 of Pregnancy

I know! Let’s talk about pre-term labour. Fun or what? Now don’t pretend you haven’t googled the shit out of how far along you…


Week 24 of Pregnancy

Guess what? We’ve made it to the point where your baby is as long as a footlong sub –I’ve been dying to use that…


Week 23 of Pregnancy

How ya doin’, Sugar? Speaking of sugar, you’re going to be coming up for your glucose screening test to make sure you’re not rockin’…


Week 22 of Pregnancy

Guess who’s about the size of a Barbie doll? Hint: it isn’t you. Yep, your baby is about the length of a Barbie but…


Week 21 of Pregnancy

Your baby is a whopping three-quarters of a pound (or 360 grams) and is about 101/2  inches long which is about the size of…


Week 20 of Pregnancy

Woohoo! Halfway point! Do a victory lap around the block! Ha, no, fuck that noise, you do what you want, you’ve earned it, honey….


Week 19 of Pregnancy

You may have already had your mid-pregnancy ultrasound (often called a Level II Ultrasound, Fetal Anatomy Survey or a Fetal Anomaly Screen) because you…


Week 18 of Pregnancy

“Arrrgh, son-of-a-bitch leg cramp!” is something you may have uttered recently. Most likely it was when you were in bed after finally getting to…


Week 17 of Pregnancy

Way to pork up, kid! No, not you, your baby, well, if you’re like me, then you too (high five). Your baby is about…


Week 16 of Pregnancy

“Hi kiddo, that’s the world you hear because your ears work!” Cue the cool tunes because your baby can hear them now. It’s also…


Week 15 of Pregnancy

Your baby’s ears have migrated to the side of their head for many, many years of ignoring you down the road. The little weeble…


Week 14 of Pregnancy

Second trimester! Can I get a woot woot? Have these been the longest weeks of your life, or what? By the time you have…


Week 13 of Pregnancy

Your kid has fingerprints now so it better give up on that bank heist it was planning. It’s probably for the best seeing as…


Week 12 of Pregnancy

If you can believe it, your baby has fingernails now. In no time these will be used to scratch your face with razor sharp…