Losing It – Week Two

The iceberg is moving, people.

Last week I met with Lianne from Sprout Right to pick her brain about the differences between kamut and whole wheat bread. Oh, and I’ll save you some embarrassment and tell you it’s pronounced “ka-moot” and not “ka-mut” because why would you spell something the way it should be pronounced – very Stoo-pud.

Anyway, Lianne is brilliant and beautiful and knows everything there is to know about nutrition. I want to carry her around in a backpack like Luke did with Yoda in Empire Strikes Back so she can smack my hand and say, “eat crap fries you shouldn’t”. I doubt if she would go for that though.

She gave me some fabulous tips like making my beloved chip dip with Greek yogurt instead of sour cream because it has way more protein and she explained the whole philosophy behind her meal plans.

I even joined her facebook page so I can have her free, ongoing support for questions like, “I hate mushrooms. Can I leave them out of the risotto or are they important?” or “what the hell is an oatcake and where do I find them?”

After doing her two week meal plan it really was refreshing to know what I really should be eating and how much of it I should be eating to maintain a healthy lifestyle. This is my biggest problem with cookbooks because after I’ve eaten my chicken wrap or whatever, I decide that I haven’t eaten enough then eat something stupid (or stoo-pud).

This meal plan is completely balanced from breakfast to dinner so I just run on auto-pilot and I’m sure it was a ridiculous amount of work to put together.

As for my workout with my lovely Jillian, Natalie and Anita who collectively have 6% body fat, I am plugging along. Even though it really isn’t pretty and I don’t let anyone watch me do it, it looks like I’m getting results no matter how pathetic my double jump rope is.

I kind of go between workout one and two because I get bored easily and I also don’t do well if I remember that some plank jack move is coming up, so it’s good to keep me guessing. I’m starting to lipsync to what she’s saying too – “I could always use a good chest fly in my life.”

If you ever decide to do this crazy workout, I recommend you buy two sets of weights. I started out with 5lb weights that I had lying around and quickly realized that I couldn’t do any of the shoulder exercises with them so I went to Walmart and bought 2lb weights. It’s way better.

So here I am at the end of my second week and I’m convinced that I have lost at least 9, 12, 120 pounds. Nope. 2.5lbs. So 5.5lbs in two weeks. Damn.

My mother was down for a week and she lost 6lbs in the time she was here and my husband has lost 9 because that bastard can look at a carrot stick and drop 5 pounds. So what went wrong? Could all my Shredding be adding muscle? I don’t know but I want some results, dammit. Then I remember the measurements that I took – you know, the ones that make me throw up in my mouth – and I’ve lost an inch off my thighs, an inch off my hips and an inch-and-a-half off my waist. Woot. There’s the shitz.

I’ve got two more weeks. I figure it’s all going to drop off me like a shattered windshield cuz that’s how it happens – screw this slow and steady shit. I can hear Lianne though, “eat well and the weight will come off you must.” (She really doesn’t talk like that and she doesn’t look anything like Yoda. I promise.)

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21 Comments

  • I scoffed at the "puddle of urine part" before I got intense about working out…now, I feel like I should be wearing Depends underwear and have never, ever made the mistake of letting my husband bounce around along with me, making (honestly funny and not offensive) jokes in his head for later. He lost 25 lbs in 2 months. Bastard.

  • This is my very first time here and you made me feel right at home by drawing that picture of me trying not to pee my pants while holding my boobs today during day two of my Shred experience. She says it's important to keep your arms 'engaged' and I have wondered whether holding up my boobs counts? Or whether doing jumping jacks to the bathroom slows down the old heartrate too much? Congrats on the 5.5!! You've given me hope!

  • I can't speak to any of the rest (weights, etc) as my 'routines' are SO DIFFERENT OMG. (I <3 crossfit.) But good luck!! You've got some great advice on ignoring the stupid scale already. 😉

    Still, my favorite dish with risotto involved chicken broth, lemon juice/zest and fresh grated parmesan cheese, all baked up and melty.
    Screw the mushrooms. Stupid fungus-y stuff. Ew. XD

  • You are doing it all right, and deep down know it Amy! It's about turning that corner to a healthier lifestyle, and you are right on track. Stop getting on the scale, unless it's once a week, and NO more. Don't look at it as the only thing, it's about all that great food you are eating from the meal plan. Your stamina is going to be better, your energy will skyrocket (increase at least 😉 and you'll feel better about yourself for your amazing progress!

    And I"m in your backpack whenever you need me to be – or at the end of an email at least. Go girl!

  • Love the sketch of you holding your boobs when you workout. I feel like I need to wear 10 sports bras to workout. and even a brisk walks has me clutching the girls.

  • Love your post – just came across it via @SproutRight. I too wish I had Lianne in my backpack, and loved the eating plan. After much draw-a-blank meal planning for the week and reading your love of the plan, I think that's the way forward. Not sure what 'shredding' is (though have been known to skip indoors when raining outside), but like your stick people!

  • I'd like to second that 5.5 pounds in two weeks is really phenomenal, healthy weight loss. It's no good to drop 10 pounds in a week, it'll all just come back later. Keep it up, you're an inspiration!

  • Today was day 10 of the shed for me, thanks to your inspiration. I never made it out of level one last time I started the shred…and that was 20 days of trying. I LOVE your jump rope drawing. Modified jumping jacks? Yes, please…I don't want a puddle on the floor. I don't care if 400lb people can do them. Have they pushed out a 9+lb baby?

  • Amy…seriously, congrats on that loss, especially the inches. Weight is one thing, but I find that I really don't care if I weigh 200lbs, as long as I feel comfortable in the clothes I want to wear. That's where it counts (for me). Looking forward to reading about the next two weeks!

  • I can't wait to hear more! Thanks for sharing. I am currently 39 wks pregnant and will be sharing your pain and triumph as well. Been holding steady at the 200 mark now for a month and a half, but at 5'4" know this is WAY too much (but only a 25 lbs weight gain this pregnancy – gotta keep telling myself this). You are a fabulous inspiration, so again, thank you!

  • Amy, 5.5 lb in 2 weeks is AMAZING!!!! It is also HEALTHY!! Think about how much time it took for you to put on the weight. 1-2 lb per week is a healthy and SUSTAINABLE weight loss. And don't worry about the muscle. It's actually very hard for women to add muscle, especially if you aren't doing something hard core. Just think, another 4.5 lb and you'll be down a whole size! You are rockin' it, girl!

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