A couple of years ago I did a quality round up of amazing gifts for Father’s Day – Penis sweater and inflatable sausage are still my favourites.
This year I thought I’d get a little more serious and try to offer up some more practical ideas instead of just whiskey dispensers that existed in 1963 (they really should bring those back.) Of course that still didn’t stop me from recommending a life-size velociraptor – every man needs that shit.
Dad Thanks For Putting Up With My Crap Card – $4.50 etsy
Snowballs – cooling underwear for conceiving men – $59. Okay, so this is more for want-to-be rather than new dads but I thought it was a great idea.
Candi Factory Mens’ Briefs – $30 Candi Factory While I’m on an underwear kick. Not only do these briefs come in great designs, they are incredibly soft and comfortable. (The women’s and kid’s underwear is amazing too.)
2014 Fathers Day Printable Handprint Tree – $10 etsy Note: the year has been updated for 2014.
Daddy Hugs Board Book – $5 Amazon There are some amazing ‘daddy’ books out there that everyone will love at story time.
Flatten Me My Super Dad Book – $30 Flatten Me. Make dad the star in his very own storybook.
I’m Your Father’s Day Gift Mom Says You’re Welcome Baby Onesie – $22 Supermarket It’s a better gift than hemorrhoids.
Saddle Baby Should Carrier – $90 Amazon I find the brilliance of this blinding.
Canon Rebel Digital SLR – $600 Amazon If you want to go nuts or were planning on buying one anyway (sneaky, sneaky) there are no words for how much I love mine.
New Dad Tactical Bag – $100 Man Crates I was partial to the Zombie Suppression and Retro Gamer Crates as well.
Velociraptor Statue – $2,500 Amazon If this doesn’t say, “stay the hell out of my backyard” then I don’t know what does. By the way, if you buy one of these, I’m coming over.
Be Prepared, A Practical Handbook for New Dads – $10 Amazon
Oak tree and acorn t-shirts – £32 Twisted Twee. They have amazing shirts on here. Did you also notice that I found the pound sign on the keyboard. Slick, I know.
Number tracing T-shirt – $22 etsy. I will take 10 of these, please. They have the car playmat t-shirt as well.
The Elkton Diaper Bag by Buffalo Jackson Trading Co – $225 Kickstarter. You’d be hard pressed to find a manlier diaper bag.
Shittens – Disposable mitten-shaped moist wipes – $10. They had me at shittens.
Adopt an Anaconda – $55 WWF. You can also adopt a beaver if you’re tired of all my dick references here. All kidding aside, charities are a wonderful gift for the guy that has everything.
Happy Father’s Day!