Animals have been around a lot longer than we have, so it's natural to look to them for inspiration when trying to figure out how to raise our young.
Sure, sure, things in the animal kingdom are a teeny bit different than the average nursery, and human babies are born pretty darn helpless compared to their furry counterparts. But that's not to say we can't learn a thing or two from our animal brethren! Who doesn't want to live more instinctually? More simply? More...uh, covered in spit?
Here are 8 almost legit (but mostly illegal) parenting hacks inspired by animals, hilariously illustrated by Rachel Deutsch.
Eat like a bird
We can probably all agree that one of the most tedious parts of parenthood is cooking. Why not just pawn your kid off on another family here and there?
Your way out of kitchen doody... I mean duty
Gross? Maybe. But it's kind of like a giant multi-flavored meatball. Will you bite into cereal or lasagna or celery? The suspense! But also: no cooking, which is a definite win.
See you later, alligator
What's safer than a small dark hole surrounded by sharp pointy objects designed to shred flesh? Makes perfect sense to me.
Bring back the spit bath
Cats do it and cats are probably the smartest animals in the whole animal kingdom. Except those cats who are afraid of cucumbers and the other cats that get stuck on piano keys and those OTHER other cats that fall into fish tanks while they're sleeping and you know what? Nevermind.
Improve your footwork
What are feet except long inflexible hands with stumpy smelly fingers? Put. Those. Puppies. To. Work.
Find your village (people)
Hey, the more the merrier. Baby will love the extra attention and you get a break. A win-win.
Wash away your worries
"The sea cures all ailments of man." - Plato
"You heard the man. We outta here!" - Penguin moms
Mommy's Little Cannibal
Honestly everyone in this situation would feel better if you just ordered some Grub Hub and put on a movie.
Animals! Such inspirational creatures!
As you can see, there's much to learn from our animal friends... and most of it is what NOT to do when raising human young. But it does feel good to laugh about it together while we all collectively put off cooking dinner again, right?
What slide is your favorite?
Let us know in the comments below, and be sure to check out more of Rachel's work on Instagram.
Our next reco: Funniest Things People Have Said While Giving Birth