This falls into the why-wasn’t-this-around-when-I-had-an-infant camp.
This, ladies and gentleman, is a Motorola MBP 36 Remote Wireless Video Baby Monitor.
What’s a Motorola MBP 36 Remote Wireless Video Baby Monitor, you ask? Well, I’ll tell you what it is. It’s super awesome with a side of hell-yeah.
Here are the deets on it:
Wireless Technology 2.4 GHz FHSS: Which meant absolutely nothing me but, upon further reading, it means that the signal is secure so others can’t eavesdrop. So when you’re home screaming “where’s the hemroid cream?!” in the privacy of your bathroom, your neighbours aren’t picking it up on their phone, monitor, or wireless speakers playing at their dinner party. I’d pay a couple extra bucks to avoid that horror show.
3.5” Diagonal Color Screen: Nice big screen so you get a good view of your weeble.
Range Up to 590 feet: So you can move around your house easily without losing the connection. I bet you could even dash to the curb in your bare feet and bathrobe screaming “Shit! Shit! Wait! ” to the garbage truck on those magical days when you forget there’s a pick up, and still keep the connection.
Infrared Night Vision: This automatically adjusts depending on the light in the room so you can always see your baby. Plus, it’s a tactical advantage over Allied Forces that allows your baby to fight with greater ability in the dark.
High Sensitivity Microphone: This will shave off about 6,000 daily questions of “was that the baby?”. It will still leave about 4,000, but it’s a start.
Out-of-Range Alert: Oh, this seems like nothing, but if you’re out talking to your neighbour in the driveway thinking your monitor is in range, then you walk back in the house to find your baby howling you’ll feel like the biggest d-bag on the planet.
Support Stand: I love that this is a point. Support stand!
Volume Control: I think this is also self explanatory.
Room Temperature Display: This will tell you if your baby’s room is too hot or too cold. Again, I could have used this to quell some of my SIDS paranoia when I read how room temperature could be linked to it. It also would have stopped me from dressing my baby like he was exploring the Arctic Tundra because I was worried he was “chilly”.
Low Battery Alert: See Out-of-Range-Alert. There is a plethora of things to make you feel guilty, may as well take “dead batteries in the monitor and I didn’t know” off the list.
Two-Way Communication: When I first read this I couldn’t figure out why your baby would want to keep dibs on you, then, upon further reading, it’s a handy little feature so you can sing a little lullaby or give a little “hush, hush” if your baby starts fussing. I would have also loved this instead of yelling, “It’s okay! I’m coming.” in the most soothing tone I could muster while bellowing from the basement as I gunned it up the stairs. I always sounded like a winded Miss Piggy trying escape a home invasion. I’m sure that was very comforting to my children.
Rechargeable Battery (Parent Unit): Makes sense.
Video Remote: Pan, Tilt, and Zoom: Every baby goes through that scoot-to-the-bottom-of-the-bed/crib phase. Nice try, monkey. Mommy sees your escape route.
5 Lullabies: I hope one is Enter Sandman.
Am I right that this thing is awesome or am I right?
Well, you could win one. Yep, this sucker retails for about $249 so we aren’t messing around.
Just leave a comment below and let me know what feature you love the most – don’t pick Support Stand, that’s mine – and I’ll draw a random winner next Wednesday (Oct. 17).Good luck!