10 Silver Linings of Motherhood

silver linings of motherhood

Let’s face it – motherhood is no picnic. On the best of days, it’s easily one of the dirtiest, most thankless and grueling jobs on the planet. Every new day is jam-packed with tantrums, tears and a medley of bodily fluids; ranging from vomit to poop (yes, poop counts as a bodily fluid when you have a baby) – all courtesy of your little bundle of joy.

On the worst of days, it’s a roller-coaster ride of emotions that will leave you questioning your sanity as you breathlessly attempt to juggle caring for this tiny person (evil genius?) who depends on you for their every need, and trying desperately – in vain, of course – to get a handle on the sheer chaos that was once your tidy, functioning home. All the while fighting off the urge to crawl under the bed and curl up into a sobbing mess, because surely you MUST be the world’s worst mother for feeling so damn inadequate and overwhelmed.

Luckily, every dark cloud has a silver lining and motherhood’s most trying moments are no different. At times you might have to use every ounce of willpower and determination to find one, but eventually you will. And if you don’t? Well, you better get creative and make one up – there’s no turning back now, ladies!

 

1. Bathroom Blues

The cloud:
The panicked screams that have become the soundtrack to every trip you take to the bathroom. You haven’t peed in hours, your bladder isn’t what it used to be and you’re about to have a code red (read: pee your pants). Finally, baby is sleeping peacefully/distracted by an engaging game of peekaboo with dad/sibling. You tiptoe to the bathroom, quietly closing the door behind you. Triumph! You breathe a sigh of relief. As your ass touches the toilet seat, your baby’s sixth sense kicks into high gear and ear piercing cries fill the air. Seriously baby?

The silver lining:
Those beautiful gummy grins of pure and unadulterated joy your baby bestows upon you every time you enter the room.

 

2. Joined at the Hip

The cloud:
Your baby suddenly wants no one but you – all. the. time. She used to love being held by her granny/dad/aunty (and you loved it even more). Now she clings to you with superhuman strength and screams bloody murder if you so much as think about handing her to someone else for even a second.

The silver lining:
An extra helping of chunky armed hugs that don’t quite reach all the way around your neck – she’s just sooo relieved you didn’t (couldn’t) let her go.

 

3. Three’s a Crowd

The cloud:
You’re lonely and you wish you had someone to talk to. Baby is a great listener but she doesn’t contribute much to the conversation.

The silver lining:
The reward of helpless giggles after you’ve spent twenty minutes making an absolute fool of yourself (you never would’ve spent 20 minutes making funny faces if you’d had company, now would you?).

 

4. Sharing is Caring

The cloud:
Nothing – and I mean NOTHING – belongs to you anymore. Your time, your food, your bed and probably a large chunk of your pre-mommy sanity have all been stolen by – ahem, I mean, lovingly GIVEN to – your little angel. Even your playlist has been hijacked and now you only
ever get to listen to one song – over and over and over again!

The silver lining:
The way your baby bops and tries to sing along to her favorite song, even though she can’t actually talk yet.

 

5. Bump and Grind… to a Screeching Halt!

The cloud:
Your sex life is teetering on the brink of extinction.

The silver lining:
You’re too tired for sex anyway. Nuff said.

 

6. Bending Over Backwards

The cloud:
Terrible posture – also known as mom posture – afflicts thousands of moms around the world. Hallmark characteristics include tucked tailbone and tilted hips, most often caused by the carrier pushing the hips forward in an attempt to provide a perch for the constantly carried baby. Other
symptoms are rounded shoulders and aching arms. Ok, ok – so it’s not technically a medical condition, but it should be! Mom posture is no joke…

The silver lining:
You always know where your baby is and what she’s doing – plus the soft, snuggly warmth of your baby makes a great portable heater on cold days! Also, all that carrying means most moms have well developed bicep and deltoid muscles. Although, the favored arm is likely to be a smidge bigger than the other… On second thought, scratch that. Disproportionate anatomy doesn’t count as a silver lining…

 

7. In Your Dreams

The cloud:
The 4 month, 8 month and 18 month sleep regression. Yes, these are real. Going through one right now? Welcome to the 9th Circle of Hell. Get comfortable, invest in a couple of straight jackets and consider padding your walls – sleep regression is the ultimate mind-fuck.

The silver lining:
That moment when they finally fall asleep, looking so angelic you’re almost tempted to kiss and squeeze them awake – almost! Your bag may have a hole in it, but you haven’t lost all your marbles just yet!

 

8. Yakkity Yak – Don’t Talk Back!

The cloud:
When your baby started talking you couldn’t get enough of it and you treasured her every word. Now every second word is a spirited “no” and the cute factor is rapidly wearing off.

The silver lining:
The first “Wuv you, mama” is right around the corner. Hold on, it’s worth it!

 

9. Mother Knows Best

The cloud:
The fact that your child truly believes you know everything – the relentless questioning is enough to do your head in.

The silver lining:
The fact that your child truly believes you know everything – at least somebody does!

 

10. Forever Young

The cloud:
Your whole life revolves around your children and you can’t remember the last time you did grown-up things with actual grown-ups.

The silver lining:
Simply being able to play with your kids. Pity the poor souls who don’t play soccer, ride a scooter or attempt to skateboard for the first time at the age of 30, for fear of looking like a fool. While you secretly (or not so secretly) get to relish the fact that being a mother naturally earns you the right to behave like a buffoon – you’re only doing it for the children, after all 😉

Related:
20 Things I Learned From My First 4 Months of Parenthood
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