8 (Almost) Legit Parenting Hacks Inspired by Animals

Sure, sure, things in the animal kingdom are a teeny bit different than the average nursery, and human babies are born pretty darn helpless compared to their furry counterparts. But that’s not to say we can’t learn a thing or two from our animal brethren! Who doesn’t want to live more instinctually? More simply? More…uh, covered in spit?

Here are 8 almost legit (but mostly illegal) parenting hacks inspired by animals, hilariously illustrated by Rachel Deutsch.

Line drawing of a person pushing a child toward a group being fed with the text: Sneak your kid into another family.

We can probably all agree that one of the most tedious parts of parenthood is cooking. Why not just pawn your kid off on another family here and there?

A person pushes a giant ball of food. Text compares the action to a dung beetle rolling food into a nursery.

Your way out of kitchen doody… I mean duty

Gross? Maybe. But it’s kind of like a giant multi-flavored meatball. Will you bite into cereal or lasagna or celery? The suspense! But also: no cooking, which is a definite win.

Humorous drawing of a person putting a child in their mouth while a car approaches, with text about alligator parenting.

See you later, alligator

What’s safer than a small dark hole surrounded by sharp pointy objects designed to shred flesh? Makes perfect sense to me.

Line drawing of a person licking a baby's head with text: When low on soap, wash baby with your tongue.

Bring back the spit bath

Cats do it and cats are probably the smartest animals in the whole animal kingdom. Except those cats who are afraid of cucumbers and the other cats that get stuck on piano keys and those OTHER other cats that fall into fish tanks while they’re sleeping and you know what? Nevermind.

Line drawing of a father using his foot to sponge a baby while he eats an ice cream cone with his hands.

Improve your footwork

What are feet except long inflexible hands with stumpy smelly fingers? Put. Those. Puppies. To. Work.

Drawing of two people with a baby. Text reads: Tamarin monkeys often transfer childcare to the father and a male friend.

Find your village (people)

Hey, the more the merrier. Baby will love the extra attention and you get a break. A win-win

Line drawing of a woman floating in dark water. Text: Like penguin moms, spend some solo time at sea.

Wash away your worries

“The sea cures all ailments of man.” – Plato

“You heard the man. We outta here!” – Penguin moms

A person lies face down on the ground with text above about velvet spider mothers letting their children eat them.

Mommy’s Little Cannibal

Honestly, everyone in this situation would feel better if you just ordered some Grub Hub and put on a movie.

Animals! Such inspirational creatures!

As you can see, there’s much to learn from our animal friends… and most of it is what NOT to do when raising human young. But it does feel good to laugh about it together while we all collectively put off cooking dinner again, right?

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