17 Questions You’ll Ask Yourself the First Time Your Baby Sleeps Through the Night

There are two things that all sleep deprived parents can agree on: one, that we love our children endlessly, and two, that we would also like them even more if they would just let us sleep… ideally for more than 2 hours at a time. Since the day my daughter was born, I can count one hand the number of times that she’s slept through the night. Actually, I only need one finger, because it’s only happened once. And it was a less satisfying experience than I would have thought, given that I would have done pretty much anything short of drugging her to make it happen. So why wasn’t it everything I imagined it would be? Oh, because I spent most of it freaking out.

Here’s what was running through my mind when I should have been blissfully asleep:

  1. Whoa, she’s been asleep how long?
  2. Oh my god, is she breathing?
  3. Should I poke her?
  4. Why am I kinda bummed out about this?
  5. Why do babies grow up so fast?
  6. How can I miss her right now when a couple of hours ago I was dying for her to go to sleep?
  7. Is her diaper gonna be a disaster zone when wakes up?
  8. Is she definitely breathing?
  9. Is this going to happen again?
  10. What did I do to make this happen?
  11. How do I duplicate it?
  12. This has to be a one-time fluke, doesn’t it?
  13. Did she wake up at some point and I slept through it?
  14. Or maybe I did wake up and I just don’t remember?
  15. Am I capable of sleep-changing diapers and I had no idea?
  16. I should be enjoying this more, shouldn’t I?
  17. Why am I awake right now?

Here’s to hoping that one day soon, we’ll all be able to answer number 9 with a resounding yes.


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