I’m entering month nine of this pregnancy and can’t wait to meet the little guy who has been keeping me up at night… so he can keep me up some more, in person.
Until then, here are some of the things I’ve found myself saying over the past eight and a half months:
1/ “Oh, so these are cankles”
Volume to my hair, yes. Volume to my ankles? Hard pass.
2/ “I’m hungry” – Usually heard anytime between 2 a.m. and 11 p.m.
And every other hour on the clock.
3/ “Excuse me, where’s your restroom?”
I'm gonna need to know 5 minutes ago.
4/ “My child will never – (insert the atrocious behavior your child will most certainly do in two years)”
Yep. They're gonna.
5/ “I will definitely need this baby wipe warmer”
I will definitely give this baby wipe warmer away soon.
6/ 1 p.m.: “I love feeling the baby kick!” 3 a.m.: “STOP KICKING!”
Mama needs some sleep!
7/ “Hmmmm, should I wear yoga pants, leggings or sweats today?”
Or, plot twist, no pants?
8/ “Help me up?”
Or just bring me snacks.
9/ “I can’t see my feet!”
So you should probably rub them.
10/ “WAAHHHHHHHH” – Always accompanied by tears, usually brought on by a 30 second TV commercial.
Why you gotta go and do that, Windex?
11/ “It’s all about balance.” Said while pinning pregnancy workouts and eating handfuls of candy corn.
No shame in that game.
12/ “Can you tie my shoes for me?”
Or, I once again implore you to rub my feet.
13/ “There should be pregnant parking spots here.” Overheard anywhere there is a parking lot.
Can someone park in the firelane if they're as big as a fire truck? Asking for a friend.
14/ “Arhhh, Guhhh, Rghhh…” Noises made when attempting to adjust positions.
Roughly translates to, "am stuck, halp, move me..."
15/ Donuts really should be their own food group.”
I mean, who says they aren't? Shh... don't answer that.
16/ “I think I could do an unmedicated birth.” – watches delivery video – “How soon after I go into labor can I get an epidural?”
Is now too soon?
17/ “Can I get some extra pickles please?”
Yes, I know you already brought extra. I mean extra extra.
18/ “OK, I guess I waddle now.”
And I'm okay with that.
19/ “Do you think they allow wine in the hospital recovery room?”
The hospital tour should cover that, right?
What about you? Anything else?
Drop something you've been saying a lot in the comments below!
Our next reco: 20 Side Effects Of Pregnancy They Don’t Tell You
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