Medical Visits: Get Used to Feeling Like an Ass

Every new parent has to debate on calling the Midwife/Doctor/OBGYN/Pediatrician for something at some point.

No matter how wonderful (or awful) your professional is, you can’t help but sometimes walking away feeling like a dork. I once went to see my OBGYN for a weird rash on my side that I thought was shingles that turned out being the seam of my new “tarp” shirt rubbing on my skin. Then, when my son was born, I waited more than a week to take him in for what turned out to be a wicked yeast rash. I was told it was because I wasn’t changing his diaper enough so I was clearly neglecting him on two levels. Great.

To this, I say, “whatever”. Everyone says to trust your instincts but often you really aren’t sure what to do so I worked out these handy diagrams to remind you to suck it up, Buttercup and just shrug your shoulders and move on.

Odds are you’re going to feel like either an Overprotective Worry Wart or a cast member from The Real Housewives of Shitty City, but sometimes you’re right and that’s just gold, Ponyboy.

medical visits venn diagram - baby editionmedical visits venn diagram - baby editionOur next recos:

Pregnancy: When to Get Your Ass to a Doctor

Making Decisions About Medication Use in Pregnancy

Medicine List for Sick Babies

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  • I know how you all feel. I’m a medical professional (paramedic) and constantly have this internal battle when my kids are sick. I see so many useless trips to the ER for both kids and adults that I’ve become quite the “this is absolutely nothing… No need to go since they aren’t gonna do anything” attitude. I know I’m not normal and so I try to balance that with what most parents would do. I normally try to go to my family doctor just to confirm my treatment/assessments are on point. The one time I did take my son to the ER he had vomited, diarrhea and a fever for 3 days and now his diapers had been dry for about 8 hours, no tears and lethargic, all important signs of dehydration. I left his twin also sick at home with dad and lugged my sicker one to the emerg. While awaiting at the normal steps it takes to see the doctor I breastfed him constantly. Well, by the time the doctor saw him (fairly quickly), he started crying with tears, a sure sign that he wasn’t dehydrated! I felt so silly! All that bf while waiting had fixed him!

  • I have my midwife’s cell number. I’ve never used it, but it’s nice to have it. Also, I’m loving that your midwife is a guy. I was wondering the other day if there were any male ones out there!

  • This is so true. I feel like our medical care is a joke. As a new parent, I took my newborn in (and had to fight to get an appointment because they didn’t think I needed to be seen). She refused to nurse for three days. My OB told me if a young baby doesn’t eat for 6+ hours, you need to go to the ER. But of course, my "pediatrician" was like "it’s normal, go home" and offered no support. Um, hello. I’m a new mom with a 6 week old baby and my only job is keeping her alive. Why do you think I’m here? They didn’t help me at all and just told me to see a lactation consultant who was unavailable for three days. Awesome.

    Opposite end of the spectrum, my friend took her son in for 8 months until they realized he had cancer. She would not let it go that he was not right and no one was listening to her. 🙁

  • I love the reference to 'The Outsiders' too! That's golden, Ponyboy 🙂

    So, so true – it's such a fine line between hysterical woman/parent and crazy/neglectful person! I love my OB but I think I might give him the link to this page…

  • Ohhhh… I feel this. So far I've gotten rolled eyes, insinuations that I don't know what Braxton-Hicks contractions are (4th pregnancy here), scolded for not gaining enough weight (I've gained 27lbs), told that I was over-reacting to normal vaginal irritation of pregnancy (lab came back with an obvious infection, which I had been trying to tell her i was pretty sure I had again (I'd had it earlier on as well)- go figure), etc, etc…

    But I'm almost done. I'm so looking forward to having my body back!

  • Hahaha hilarious, because it's so true. I've driven two hrs to the baby dr to him tell me she's fine….IDIOT!! (she didn't want to BF, well who would after they've been given a bottle for a few days, smart cookie…)

  • I'm lucky that ob/gyns in France give you their cell phone number so you can call them up with concerns anytime, day or night. I guess they trust they're not gonna get a bunch of stupid phone calls or maybe they don't care if they do, but I know I loved it because I was on edge with my second pregnancy and instead of making me feel like an ass about it when it turned out to be nothing serious, my doctor always said, 'trust your intuition and call me anytime, I'd rather we're safe than sorry.' I will always be grateful to him for that.

    • My midwife subscribes to an answering service, so if I ever have a question, I can get a hold of him. It’s basically the best. I’ve only used it a couple times, but it’s so nice to just call, instead of trying to decide whether that ache in my side is something serious or just fun pregnancy times.

  • With my youngest, I took him in for a cold… was told it was 'nothing'… tried what they said, brought him back, told it was just a cold… it would go away on it's own… told to go away. Took him to the ER three more times, got that 'Lord crazy mom'…

    I really got to thinking that they thought I wanted something to be wrong with him. Sure, he always perked back up the minute we hit the ER doors.

    The last time in that round, I ignored my inution that he really did need to be seen because that Sunday's chest xray was 'fine' and the fever was 'fine' and to 'quit worrying'. I was told if the fever continued for more than 3 days, then to bring him back in at that point.

    I didn't sleep Tuesday night very well because I was sure he was going to die on me from that fever… cold my ass… I took him into the ER and the doctor was like- It's a cold, still, but we will humor you… and take another look at him.

    We spent the next week (or just shy of a week) in the ICU… he had horrible, horrible pneumonia, and was drowning on the liquid in his lung, had to be suctioned, etc..

    He was six months old. Mommy's intuition… maybe if they had listened better (or I pushed harder a few visits before, we would have caught it before it became life-threatening…). I will be that worrisome mom any day of the week…

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