So you’re a mom. The baby disengaged from your womb in a life-altering manner and BAM! Congratulations! Before you go bury yourself in all things newborn, the right way and the wrong way, swaddling or swing, take a breath. Take a moment. Read this.
When the endorphins wear off and you find yourself rocking a loaf of bread in the grocery aisle, you’ll thank me. I don’t care what kind of baby carrier you will use or how you sleep train. All I can tell you about motherhood is that you need to hold onto your friendships, lady. The next eighteen years could be really long without a pal or two. Don’t forget some traveling companions.
These are the friends you need to hold onto:
1. The friend who loves your kids… maybe more than you do.
You know who she is. She was your friend before, but now she’s out there finding your child the perfect tree ornament when you bought your baby diapers for Christmas. She actually WANTS to hold the baby. You go shower.
2. The friend with no kids.
She’s a breath of fresh air and an escape hatch from the mom worries.
3. The friend who has kids the same age as your kids.
This might not seem like such a big deal when your baby is sleeping soundly in the ergo, but around that one-year mark it is suddenly fantastic to have a playdate at the ready or someone who is absolutely fine with hanging out with your child because their child is entertained. This happens. It is gold.
Add wine or coffee and start arranging marriages post-haste.
4. The friend with older kids.
When your kids are finger painting feces, she’s sleeping through the night and peeing alone. This friend offers perspective. Hope. She brushes her hair. She insists you will get your independence back when the toddlerHOOD is overtaking your life.
Plus, she birthed at least one potential babysitter.
5. The friend who couldn’t care less about seeing your kids.
It’s not that she doesn’t love your kids… She just loves YOU more. When you gave birth, she brought a 6-pack of Corona instead of a onesie. She sees the YOU that isn’t defined by your offspring.
She’s there to get you out of the house so you don’t forget her either.
So go get some shut-eye and stop reading the sleep-training book. Spoiler: they just sleep whenever they want. Your nipples are going to bleed even if you have the perfect latch. And when you wake up from those first six weeks a certified mombie, text me.
I’ll bring the Coronas.
Related: Humble Lessons I’ve Learned About Mixing Friends and Kids