Everybody knows that babies cry. And while a baby crying has been stressing parents out since our cave-dwelling days, except in extreme cases, the fact that your baby is crying has nothing to do with your parenting skills.
Your baby’s crying isn’t an indictment; it’s actually your little one’s way of trying to communicate with you.
And here’s something really exciting – it’s possible to “learn” your baby and pretty soon, you may be able to decode these cries with no problem at all.
In an effort to help you become fluent in your baby’s language (ear-splitting as it may be), I’ve put together a quick list of the 10 most common reasons a newborn baby cries. This checklist is great for helping you determine why your baby is wailing, and what you can do to help.
1. Hunger:
Obvious, right? This is generally the top reason parents assume a newborn is crying. And given the fact that newborns eat around the clock, odds are they’re right.
However, keep in mind that things like growth spurts can increase your baby’s appetite – so even if it doesn’t seem like your newborn “should” be hungry (since he just ate 30 minutes ago), don’t rule hunger out too quickly.
Not sure when/how much your newborn should be eating? Check out these sample newborn sleep and feeding schedules.
2. Dirty Diaper
I’m not speaking from experience here, but sitting in one’s own waste seems like it would be pretty stinking (no pun intended) uncomfortable, doesn’t it?
While wet diapers aren’t generally as uncomfortable for babies (unless your newborn has a diaper rash), most babies understandably hate the feeling of a dirty diaper.
3. Neurological Immaturity
This may be one of the more surprising reasons your baby cries.
Simply put, your newborn is very new. Their brain and neurological systems are still forming, which is why they rely so much on YOU to soothe them and regulate their emotions.
This is why Dr. Harvey Karp calls the first 3 months of your newborn’s life the “fourth trimester”.
4. Colic
Yes – the dreaded “C” word.
Generally, colic is defined as long periods of inconsolable crying (3 hours or more) – especially in the mid to late evening – for babies between the ages of 2 weeks and 4 months.
While there’s no definitive cause of colic, it’s often assumed colic is caused by gas or tummy trouble.
Many of the parents I’ve worked with report that cluster feeding every evening helps to ward off fussiness; other parents use skin-to-skin contact during the colicky spells as a way to provide comfort.
5. Boredom
Believe it or not, your newborn can get bored. If your baby is alert, fed, dry, and comfortable, their tears may have everything to do with the fact that they’re bored and want a little entertainment.
6. Overstimulation
Your newborn can get bored; they can also get very overstimulated.
While babies love brief, gentle play (think shaking a rattle, or looking at a picture book), prolonged periods of activity (especially loud activity that involves lots of people and chaos) usually prove to be too much for newborns to handle.
7. General Discomfort
Tummy pain is a common affliction for newborns, but more general discomfort (think itchy pajama tag, a pinched finger from the car seat, a stray hair that’s gotten wound tightly around baby’s toe, etc.) can cause problems, too.
8. Too Warm/Too Cold
Babies feel temperature extremes the same way we do.
Generally, though, we parents tend to overdress our babies (to ward off chills, as my grandmother would say!). So in my experience, babies are more likely to fuss because they’re overheated.
It’s best to keep your baby’s nursery at a temperature that would be comfortable for you, and to dress your baby in light, breathable layers.
Your baby’s skin should be cool to the touch, but not frigid. Sweaty? Not good.
9. Wants Mom
While it might not seem like it in those early days after birth, a newborn definitely knows mom's scent and feel – and they like it a lot.
A great way to satisfy your newborn’s desire for closeness is to wear your baby. Provided you follow proper safety precautions, baby wearing can be a great way to keep your newborn close while you go about your daily activities.
10. Needs Sleep NOW
This last one is a reason that I end up talking to parents about a lot.
Here’s the thing – newborns don’t always fall asleep when they become tired. Instead, a newborn may start to rub their eyes, yawn…and then, if they haven’t been helped to sleep, within a few minutes, they’ll start fussing (and eventually wailing).
Newborns tend to go from sleepy to overly tired very quickly; that’s why it’s so important to watch for those early sleepy cues, and then to get your baby down for the next sleep session quickly.
Of course, this said, I know that sleep is one of the toughest things to sort out (especially for new parents).
The bottom line?
Your crying newborn isn't giving you a bad review – they're just trying to tell you something.
While it can feel overwhelming (especially at 2 a.m. when you've tried everything on this list twice), remember that you'll get better at understanding your baby's specific cries over time.
Some days you'll nail it immediately, and other days you'll work through the whole checklist before finding the answer. Both scenarios are completely normal.
Be patient with yourself, trust your instincts, and know that this intense crying phase is temporary. Before you know it, you'll be fluent in your baby's language – ear-splitting as it may be – and those newborn days will feel like a distant (if exhausting) memory.
Related: The Witching Hour: How to Handle Your Newborn Baby’s Evening Fussiness
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