By Lindsay Rothman, MS Ed. and Brooke Nalle, MS Ed., Pediatric Sleep Consultants at Sleepy on Hudson
When my first baby arrived, sleep became our household's most analyzed topic. Between the 2 AM wake-ups and endless rocking sessions, I desperately needed guidance but didn't even know sleep consultants existed. Now, as pediatric sleep consultants ourselves, we answer the questions we wish someone had answered for us.
What Sleep Consultants Actually Do
We can't physically hold your hand at 2 AM, but we're there through text and email support. Our consultations work two ways: we visit your home or connect virtually via video call. During the initial consultation, we assess your baby's sleep environment, observe their temperament, and understand your family's daily rhythm.
From there, we create a customized sleep plan tailored to your baby and lifestyle. For one month, we check in regularly as you implement the plan, troubleshooting challenges and making adjustments. For local families wanting hands-on support, we offer in-home coaching during those difficult nighttime hours.
What a Personalized Sleep Plan Looks Like
Every plan reflects your family's unique situation. Recently, I worked with a family juggling a toddler and an infant. The baby needed three naps daily while the toddler needed active playtime. We structured their day so:
- First nap: In the carrier during preschool drop-off, then transferred to the crib
- Second nap: A longer crib nap coinciding with the toddler's naptime (hello, parental break!)
- Third nap: A shorter carrier or stroller nap during the toddler's park time or playdate
The key is building a schedule around your real life, not an idealized version of it.
The Truth About "Cry It Out"
We hear this concern constantly. Many parents fear sleep consultants will demand they abandon their crying baby at precisely 2:14 PM and walk away. That's simply not how we work.
Our plans always include parental soothing opportunities. We recommend agreed-upon time intervals before entering the room, giving your baby space to self-soothe first. We teach parents to distinguish between different crying types:
- "Yellow" crying: Self-soothing sounds that deserve space
- "Red" crying: Genuine distress requiring your immediate presence
When you do enter, you're calming your baby consistently and predictably. This consistency helps them understand sleep expectations and eventually connect their sleep cycles independently.
Common Sleep Schedule Mistakes Parents Make
The biggest mistake? Skipping daytime routines. Transitioning from on-the-go freedom to structured schedules isn't easy, but consistency is the fastest path to better sleep. Good nighttime sleep starts with predictable daytime patterns, beginning with a consistent wake-up time.
When Sleep Training Isn't Recommended
Never begin sleep coaching until your pediatrician confirms your baby can safely sleep through the night. Wait if your baby:
- Needs to gain weight
- Has reflux issues
- Is actively teething
- Feels under the weather
These factors can derail progress and increase everyone's stress.
The Right Age for Sleep Training
You can establish a gentle schedule once feeding is well-established, though starting too early often creates unnecessary stress. Around three months, you can introduce a structured eat-wake-sleep pattern.
We recommend a full sleep assessment around 5 months. If sleep isn't where you'd like it to be, this is an ideal time for adjustments. Most sleep experts agree that babies are developmentally ready for sleep training between 4 to 6 months of age, when their circadian rhythms begin developing.
Laying the Foundation Early
Before formal sleep training, focus on creating healthy sleep associations—what we call "sleep cues."
Follow this short, consistent routine before bedtime and naps:
- Darken the room and turn on white noise
- Feed your baby
- Sing the same song while placing them in the crib
- Brush your hand over their forehead
- Say the same phrase ("Good night, baby")
- Walk out
This predictable sequence helps your baby understand what's expected and provides comfort through consistency.
When They Start Crying After "Good Night"
Parents know their baby best, and we incorporate your natural soothing approach into our plans. One critical guideline: avoid removing them from the crib to soothe.
Whether you're rubbing their back or gently patting their belly, keep them in the crib with lights off and minimal interaction. No talking, no eye contact. Keep it "all business" at night. Babies adapt to this routine remarkably quickly.
Why Babies Wake After 20-30 Minutes
Baby sleep cycles differ dramatically from adults'. Newborns have sleep cycles lasting 40-60 minutes compared to adults' 90-minute cycles. If your baby hasn't practiced falling asleep independently, they can't reconnect these cycles when they naturally stir.
This is why early sleep associations matter. If you always nurse or rock your baby to sleep, how will they know how to resettle when they wake and you're not there?
What We Want You to Remember
Some babies naturally sleep well from day one. Others don't. If your 4-month-old still wakes multiple times nightly, it doesn't necessarily mean you have a "bad sleeper" or need professional help immediately – things often improve naturally.
Take stock around 5 months. If sleep remains challenging, that's the right time for adjustments or professional guidance. Don't assume guidance means excessive crying – we customize our methods for each family, and sleep coaching can be remarkably gentle.
Lindsay Rothman, MS Ed. and Brooke Nalle, MS Ed. are the Pediatric Sleep Consultants at Sleepy on Hudson, helping families establish healthy sleep habits through personalized, family-centered approaches.
Related: Best Safe Sleep Options
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