An English mum is going mega viral with her extremely relatable, and pleasantly glass-half-full attitude about Velcro babies, and what she calls “contact naps.”
It’s probably safe to say that most moms have been trapped under a sleeping baby at some point. At first it’s pretty glorious, right? The tiny puffs of breath, the rosy cheeks, the weight of their meaty little legs. Makes you all warm and fuzzy inside.
But things get a little stressful when you find yourself in a situation where your arms end up being the only place your cherub wants to be.
The stress of a Velcro baby is multifaceted.
You’ve got the I’ve should be doing something else guilt, coupled with the bullshit “you’re spoiling your kid” attitude you get from randos, and of course the “is my baby broken?” questions that ping pong around your mind.
If this is part of your daily routine, you end up spending a significant portion of your day feeling less than great.
Blogger Katherine Thornalley recently put an incredibly positive spin on the whole “human couch” thing by pointing out that maybe, just maybe, this is our baby’s gentle reminder to us to slow our roll a little.
In her now viral post, she wonders “…what if, just say, WHAT IF this is how it is SUPPOSED to be? Alright yes, we know that evolutionary (sic) babies are designed to want to be close to their mothers, but what if that is also meant to work out for the mother to rest too. It’s meant to be for OUR benefit. To sit back for just a moment, and forget about everything else going on in life. To take in the beauty of our children, and REST.”
What the what? You mean like, maybe my baby who refuses to be put down isn’t broken, and I’m not ruining them by allowing them to sleep on my chest? Like, maybe this is nature’s way of forcing me to sit down and just be for a while? Mind. Blown.
That is one powerful shift in perspective!
Now, before any evolutionary biologists @ me over this, I get that it’s just a tired mom, postulating on why she’s currently trapped under a baby. But IT GAVE ME LIFE, and the over 80K shares it’s racked up prove I’m not the only one totally moved by what she’s said.
She ends her post with pointing out what a huge toll childbirth takes on our bodies, and how a little rest is often just what the doctor (or the Velcro baby) ordered when it comes to fully recovering.
Her words may not teach your baby to self-soothe, or sleep on their own, but if you can buy into it, her perspective is pretty powerful.
So sit back, Mama. That Velcro baby WILL learn to sleep and exist without your physical reassurance. And in the meantime? Trust that this is exactly the way it’s supposed to be.
In Lily Nichol’s book “Real Food for Pregnancy”, she talks about the post-partum (4th trimester, as it is now [thankfully!] being recognized and called) traditions of various cultures. In much of the lesser developed world, new mothers are prohibited from doing anything for roughly the first 6 weeks of baby’s life. They are brought tons of bone broth and nutrient rich foods and told to rest. Do you think “zelcro baby” is a phenomena there? No. Why? Because the mom isn’t expected to bounce back and go back to “normal” life. There is nothing normal after having a baby! Not for a while. Other cultures seem to get that. We have forgotten.
Before my first was born, an experienced mom (she had maybe 7-8 kids at the time!) and cousin of ours said that she thinks nursing a baby is (G-d’s or) nature’s way of ensuring that mom takes a break every now and then, possibly puts her feet up, etc. There are conflicting ideas about “nap when baby naps” – because some moms find that’s the only time to get anything done, but having a velcro baby does ensure some of that nap time, too 🙂
Except when you have a toddler that needs you.
This makes me so sad because I wish I could so this but my baby at 4 months would wake screaming every hour needing me to sit up and nurse at night in addition to being bounced and nursed and held all day. My back got so wrecked that it was stuck at 90 degrees and I could barely lift him. This is how insane it can get. This is how hard it is and there are no words for how frustrated I am that I have babies who struggle to sleep on their own but also struggle to sleep in my arms.
My baby was a reasonable amount of velcro baby, but he is definitely a velcro toddler. He just turned 2 this week and “Mama, UP” is one of his favorite phrases, for sure. My husband and I just tell ourselves that we are lucky to have an extremely affectionate toddler who turns to us for comfort and kisses, and he’s independent when he wants to be. It can be a challenge, though, since I’m 6.5 months pregnant!
But should I worry about my 19 month old who is still a velcro kiddo? Did I spoil him too much when he was itty bitty?
It doesn’t feel like it now, but 19 months is still so itty bitty. I don’t think you can spoil a kid too much with love and hugs if they are looking for it.
Thank you for this article and sharing this post. Xo former Velcro baby mom now mom of a happy well adjusted two year old
But what about when you still have a velcro toddler?! Honestly, she’s a great sleeper, but this kid’s favorite saying has to be “pick me up!”
Totally agree about just taking it all in with your babies though.
I held both my kids for almost all their naps, til they were about 7/8 months old! No apologies here, was definitely a way to slow down and enjoy those moments that really are so fleeting in the grand scheme of life. And no sleep issues from it, as we also did sleep training around age 1 with amazing success! Hold those babies as long and often as you want – you will miss the days when you no longer can!
I believe it. The baby will grow before your eyes so quickly. Enjoy each moment. Baby needs your security and love and Mommy needs the rest and love.❤️ Mother of four…who are all grown up. Newly blessed with a first grandson.❤️