The Best Awkward Pregnancy Photos
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The Best Awkward Pregnancy Photos

By Amy Morrison

I didn’t want to have any pictures of myself pregnant but a friend told me how much she regretted not at least having one or two shots because her kids wanted to know what she looked like when she was pregnant with them, so gave in and I took a couple of mug-shot style pictures of myself so it was documented.

With that in mind, you may want to capture your pregnancies in a photograph to preserve the wonder of life so I chose a few gems from for a little inspiration.

Family photo featuring many people standing in rows with pregnant woman passed out in the back center row

“Karen, seeing as you’re pregnant, let’s put you at the top of the family photo where the air is thinner. Karen? Karen?!?!”

Christmas card featuring a topless man and woman embracing over pregnant belly

I can appreciate what they were trying to do here but if your Christmas photo looks like it should have a “becka, becka, bow wow” soundtrack playing in the background, then you may want to reconsider the card.

Photo of topless man and woman dressed as a mermaid standing in a swamp kissing while he cradles her bare bump.

I can’t decide what I like better, the garbage bag dress, the swamp or him wearing black socks in the water (or at least the illusion of it.)

Pregnant woman stands in field of wildflowers while bald man crouches in the background

“That’s it, Steve. A little further back, a little further. Now crouch down. Perfect!” I think the ex-boyfriend may have been the photographer in this one.

Pregnant woman in orange top and white skirt lays uncomfortably on branch of a tree in the sun

This reminds me of a picnic. A good idea in theory but uncomfortable in practice.

Three people pose for photo with shirts pulled above their bellies. Pregnant woman's belly reads, "it's a girl", male belly reads, "daddy", third female's belly reads, "Aunty Yayah!!"

Words can’t describe this photo. Oh wait a minute, they can!

Bare skinned pregnant woman covers breasts with arm while gazing into eyes of man leaning on a tire.

“It’s going to be a good year, Laura. A very Goodyear indeed.”

Woman dressed in blue flowery dress smiles at camera while holding a watermelon in one hand and a gun in the other.

At first I thought “Nothing symbolizes maternity better than a watermelon and a gun” and then I thought “Actually, nothing *does* symbolize maternity better than a watermelon and a gun”. Bravo Mad’am.

Photo shows pregnant woman in white gown staring into mirror of her future self also wearing a white gown but also holding an infant.

“If I’m holding the baby then why do I still feel fat?”

Fully nude couple spoons while she covers her breasts with her hands and he cradles her bump.

Um, yeah. No. I’m just going to go with a solid no on this one.

Mom poses in hockey pants and sports bra while fully clothed children in hockey gear crouch beneath her.

Why do I feel like this woman was talked into this? I could see her thinking, “I’m just too tired to argue plus the kids won’t be able to take off because hockey equipment will slow them down and I’ll hold their heads. I’m sure it will look fine.”

Man pretends to use pregnant woman's bare bump as a basketball

“Okay, I’ll do your ‘Hoop, der it is’ idea but just don’t show my face”

Left side of photo shows two people dressed in white martial arts robes facing each other while he places a hand on her bare bump. Right side of photo shows pink and white dogwood flowers

May I call you Kung Fu Panda? Why certainly, may I deliver a front snap-kick to your pills?

Couple stands and kisses while bare bumps touch.

There’s a good chance that this baby is going to require sunscreen of SPF 50 and higher.

Forefront of photo shows woman laying on her back in the shadows with her bump exposed, while a man's lit up face is shown staring at the bump.

I can’t help but hear the Jaws theme when I see this photo.

Photo of a man standing cross-armed in a forest next to a tree where nothing but a baby bump is shown peeking out from behind.

Jerry felt pretty cocky about taking the last bag of Oreos a pregnant lady was reaching for at Wegman’s, until his dismembered body was later found in the forest just outside of town.

Couple is shown with female wearing small white tube top and flowy skirt, male is topless, and kneeling eyes-closed, with his head on the bump.

Shhh, he falls asleep like this all the time. Just give him a minute.

Black and white image of woman with shirt pulled up over bare bump. Small bow is on her bump, and she's holding a child-sized tutu with stuffed tights for legs wearing ballet shoes up below bump giving the illusion she has very tiny legs.

Proud and noble, Donna figured the tutu and legs she found at Build-A-Bear would cleverly disguise her growing belly.

Woman stands nude, draped in Spanish Moss with a hand on her bump.

It’s all fun and games until someone gets ingested by a tree.

Couple sits back to back smiling at camera. He is topless cradling a watermelon, she is wearing a white tank top and has her bump painted like a watermelon.

Hearing only “topless and melons”, he was sorely disappointed when he showed up for the photoshoot.

Black and white image of woman standing, wide-legged, on a beach while man peers from a distance between her legs.

“Hey, lady. Get away from my picnic! Fuck!”

Couple stands facing camera, him behind her covering her bare breasts, flipping the bird with both hands, she topless with body paint. Both smiling mischievously.

“Okay, well be sure to take a shot that I can send to Aunt Cathy. Just because wouldn’t come to the wedding doesn’t mean she’s not excited about the baby.”

Woman lays in muddy river with red top, black shorts, and mud smeared all over her belly.

Tired and exhausted from noodling for catfish, Carol decided to take a rest on the riverbank while keeping an eye out for gators.

Couple stands facing each other smiling while he holds onto tiny black vest she's wearing as a top.

Oh snap, stolen mini-mime vest and pants!

Woman stands in profile wearing black tube top and pants cradling belly with full grown, nude, human man in the fetal position is painted on her bare stomach.

Hush, hush sweet little man-baby. Everything’s going to be alright.

Couple stands facing one another. Both wear black t-shirts, hers plain, his with a question mark on it.

I agree that the question mark is vital on this man’s t-shirt. Where is he looking? Why did he feel the need to layer two black tees? Why isn’t he happy? How do they get their hostas in the background to grow so well?

Woman stares off into space in the woods while dressed in nothing but a black cloth being pulled behind her.

Quickly wrapping the table cloth around her naked body and running outside, she still wasn’t fast enough to catch the ice-cream truck.

Couple in full body paint designed to make them look like Cheetahs in space face the camera while he cradles her bare bump.

Cat’s is the second longest running musical of all time, therefore, this image is timeless! Stick that in your bum and lick it.

Couple faces the camera, he, standing behind his pregnant partner, topless and flexing, she sitting and smiling while her shirt exposes her bare bump.

I hope this is hanging over the fireplace for when their sassy mouthed 13-year old daughter brings her friends over.

So get out there with your cameras and document your blossoming belly, you crazy gals! Happy snappin’!

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