I have a confession to make.
I hate baby shower games.
What I have come to realize over the last decade of babypalooza (I’m just at that age, I suppose) is that most of you hate them, too. However, I’m sure someone is reading this and thinking, “No! I love to sniff melted chocolate in diapers! There is nothing I love more than stilted conversations as we carefully avoid saying certain words! I WIN ALL THE CLOTHESPINS.”
You have fun with all that shit. Us introverts and antisocial cynics will be over on the other side of the room pretending we don’t exist.
There is a lovely middle ground where we can all relax and enjoy the party. A lovely place where games do not force participation, put people on the spot, or humiliate anyone. Games that do not interrupt the flow of the conversation for those who would rather discuss the relative merits of epidurals.
15 Baby Shower Games (and Activities) That Don’t Suck
This is the gift that keeps on giving. You get a pack of diapers (try to find some that are not covered in a print), and let people write notes to the parents-to-be. They can be motivational or hilarious, and will almost certainly be appreciated at 2am.
Fill baby bottles with beer or mixed drinks and let the guests race to see who can chug the fastest. Protip – give the people you don’t like the preemie-sized nipples. Before you plan this, make sure your guest of honor doesn’t mind that you all get to drink yourself into having a good time while she’s stuck talking to her great aunt about hemorrhoids.
Pin the Sperm on the Uterus / Egg
Pretty self-explanatory. Even if you never get around to playing it, it will make a great conversation starter.
Mom or Dad
Get the parents to give you some facts from their childhood, and let the party guests try to figure who each fact belongs to. Did mom breastfeed until she was five? Did dad once draw on the car with a rock? Who, exactly, took a dump in grandma’s fine china?
Ask the guests to send you baby photos of themselves before the day of the shower. Then everyone can guess who the kid with the cowlick grew into. For added difficulty, include some celebrity baby pictures in the mix.
Baby Mad Libs
You can find these online, or make them. Choose between letting everyone fill out their own and making it a group effort. We did these when I was in labor, and I am happy to report that my daughter did not end up with 22 fingers, no matter what the Mad Lib suggested.
Labor or Porn
Find some birth photography. Find some porn. Crop out the faces and put them on a gameboard, then have people guess if the photos are depicting the miracle of life, or the miracle of orgasm. File this game under: Know your audience.
Give people five minutes to name every song they can think of that contains the word “baby” in the title. Winner can either be the person with the most titles, or the person with the most unique titles.
Print out pages with one letter on each, and let people draw what each letter represents. You can laminate them and turn them into a book later. Or two books, one for baby, and one for mom – W can be for “water” but it can also be for “wine.”
Baby Shower Bingo
The opening of presents can be sort of boring. Spice it up with bingo cards containing popular shower gifts. Baby socks, nipple cream, pacifiers, etc.
Set out tons of sharpies and/or fabric paint and let the guests go to town. Let the parents-to-be keep the sharpies – I’m still using the ones from my shower seven years ago!
I’m in love with this idea. Have guests bring in items to put into a time capsule for the baby to open at a predetermined time. Newspaper clippings, photos, and anecdotes about the parents are always great additions.
Baby Face Mashup
Enlarge and print out photos of both the mom and the dad. Cut each photo into strips and let guests combine them into one hideous hybrid baby. You can use baby photos or recent — or for added horror, a mix of the two.
Some of us are much more comfortable in social situations when we have something to do with our hands. Give each guest a ball of PlayDough and let them create the best baby they can. Or the worst.
This one deviates from my rules of good baby shower games somewhat, but as long as you don’t force people to play it can be an absolute scream. You can be as boring or outlandish as you want to be – really, what would be better than watching Great Aunt Bertha try to draw a placenta? Watching grandma draw lochia, that’s what.
What shower games have you played that did not entirely suck? Or are you one of those strange people who thinks nothing could be finer than group humiliation? Let us know!
Related: cake wrecks baby shower edition