I’m a tell it like it is kind of gal. I don’t really have a filter which comes with its pros and cons. It’s basically how I make my living by saying a whole bunch of stuff people are too afraid to say…or maybe they’re too ashamed. I mean, most people have some dignity. Mine went out the window when I strained out a golf-ball sized hemorrhoid pushing out my first little monster.
Anyway, with that introduction, I bring you:
Stories From My Butt – A Tale of Postpartum Constipation.
In January of 2018, I welcomed my second son seventeen months after having my first. It was chaos, friends. Pure chaos. Two boys under two. But that’s an unfiltered story for another day. Back to my butt.
When I had my first son, I had time. I know it doesn’t feel that way but every once and awhile I’d take some sips of water and pop that stool softener the hospital sent home, maybe even eat a breakfast littered with some fiber. If it wasn’t time, it was certainly memory. I remembered to do those things… you know, eat, drink, the stuff that keeps the body healthy, in motion and well, alive.
Within a few months of surviving off of toast and liquid caffeine, I found myself incredibly sick. I was bloated, nauseous and vomiting. I swore on all things holy that if I was pregnant from the one time we had sex that I was officially in the running to be the most fertile human on the planet.
Eventually, I went to the doctor. This resulted in a pregnancy test. Negative.
Praise the holy stuff. And then an x-ray. Which resulted in a phone call from my doctor saying these exact words:
“Your colon is loaded with stool.”
LOADED WITH STOOL.
Let that sink in.
LOADED with STOOL.
My husband made a lame Dad joke and said “I always knew you were full of shit.” Hardy-har har.
Anyway. I got backed up. Like really backed up. And this happened twice. And I got so backed up my butt started bleeding and I had to get a colonoscopy. The prep laxatives cleared that sucker out just like Marie Kondo’s approach to Tidying Up.
I sparked joy all over my colon.
And in doing so, I learned I was really neglecting the temple that gave me my babies. And that water and stool softeners and fiber are critical to moving poop along. Especially after giving another human life.
So, there you have it, folks. My not so subtle reminder, advisory, warning if you will, to put a damn sticky note on your fridge to remind yourself to stay hydrated and track your poops.
You don’t want to end up like me, loaded with stool.
Got a real gem of a postpartum story that makes people laugh, while also helping relay an important message like the one above? Drop it in the comments, or send it over to our contributor email!
Our next recos: Happily After Giving Birth – 10 Things They Don’t Tell You
Haha this is far too relatable. I went to pelvic floor therapy after feeling like my butt was falling off 4 months after my second baby and the OT suction cupped my colon (using those crazy Michael Phelps cupping things) because I was so backed up it was creating allllll sorts of back pain and down there pressure. No idea anyyyyy of this was a thing. And I’m a therapist myself. I have a list miles long of the post partum shit no one talks about! .
OMG-This was so much worse than my c-section. Biggest thing I wish I would have known! Hospital gave me a total of three stool softeners and I was on double Norcos in the hospital for 3 days and sent home with some as well. Ended up nauseous, not eating and backed up something awful. Thank goodness my mom is a nurse and I didn’t have to go to the hospital. Worst feeling ever!
I am guilty as charged for being the same way first child I didn’t know what was really going on or what to even do post partum so didn’t take care of myself very well. 6 years later second child wasn’t so bad I did get a little backed up but got it under control before got extremely bad and then 19 months later 3rd baby and yeah this go around was the worst as I went to er and had X-ray and had a major blockage in my rectum and had to use a fleet to get it out and I learned my lesson that time and have been trying and trying to get my body back and insides back from all that. It was the worst experience of my life. Thanks for sharing that not only do I suffer from this but others do as well.
I have no idea what that first bowel movement is like after a vaginal birth, but I can tell you that after a c-section and all those pain killers which also increase constipation, my first BM might have been worse than the c-section. Any friends who have a first baby, that is the only unsolicited advice I give
All 4 of my babies are 19 months apart. We have a broken condom baby, a failed pill baby, and a failed iud baby. So no, you aren’t the most fertile woman on the planet 😂 I got my tubes tied and an ablation after my last baby, but I won’t be surprised if baby number five makes his debut 19 months after the birth of my last.
On the flip side, make sure you talk to your doctor about how much to take and see how your body is doing before you over do it. I had the opposite problem. I definitely did not need the recommended doseage and had some other issues!
I was already crying laughing at ” Stories From My Butt” 😂