Being a good dad is no small task. Whether you’re going to be a father or if you’re one already, you’re pretty instrumental in shaping that little person’s opinion of men.
No pressure or anything.
So here’s my personal list of some of the things that make a great father:
•Someone who mans up to a baby’s level 10 backshit (anything that exceeds an 8 has gone above the neckline) and doesn’t pass it off to mom.
• Someone who’ll read you Goodnight Moon 7 billion times just because you like it even though there is no plausible explanation why anyone would find that book appealing.
• Someone who will push you on the swing just a wee bit higher than anyone else.
• Someone who will teach you to drive without yelling at you (too much).
• Someone that teaches you that anyone that is rude to receptionists, waiters or gas station attendants just because they think they are beneath them, is a dick and not worth knowing.
• Someone who lets you eat most of his pizza while you both watch Star Wars.
• Someone who doesn’t necessarily know what post labor perineal care entails but will go to the drugstore without question to get epsom salts.
• Someone who knows what time you go to bed, where you go to school and if you’re allergic to anything at any given time in your life..
• Someone who can make at least one edible meal without picking up the phone.
• Someone who doesn’t refer to it as babysitting when mom is out.
• Someone who never says, “Be a man and stop crying” or “You’d be prettier if you lost some weight.”
• Someone who helps you learn a sport that includes a bat or stick despite the fact he’ll get hit in the pills a few times.
• Someone who will clean your barf off the hall carpet because you ate too many cherry freezies at the amusement park.
• Someone who won’t say, “I told you so.” too many times even though he did.
• Someone that loves you no matter what your religion, sexual orientation or job is.
• Someone who doesn’t leave you in the car while he drinks in a bar.
• Someone who will walk around with his baby strapped to him in a carrier because it’s the only way the baby will sleep right now.
• Someone who is safe to call call to come pick you up no matter where you are because you got in over your head.
• Someone who will cry at your wedding, cheer at your game and laugh at your joke.
• Someone you’re proud to say, “That’s my dad.” even if he’s wearing socks and crocks.
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Fathers are really important people so don’t let all the hype around moms fool you. You the man, my friend, so have yourself a very happy Father’s Day and smarten up or I’ll turn this car around ; )
What other qualities do you think makes a good dad?