Okay, throughout this whole pregnancy you’ve probably been thinking about how you’re going to raise your child (at least I hope you have).

Well, here’s my advice: if you can, try to keep it to yourself.

The reason I say that is two-fold:

One, people will disagree with you and the dumber they are, the more you’ll hear from them. The same people that tell you that they don’t like the baby name you’ve chosen are the same people that will tell you that breastfeeding is ridiculous and that “crying it out”  or co-sleeping is child abuse.

Two, and more importantly, you will change your mind.

I remember before I had kids I swore that I would and wouldn’t do certain things – some vocally some not – and not only did I not do what I said I would, I did the exact opposite.

What I failed to account for was the constant grey areas that come with parenthood – rarely are things black and white. Sure I said I would never let my baby sleep with us because it’s a bad habit and I love my sleep. What I didn’t account for was how tired I would be, or how much my baby’s crying would break my heart (like really fucking break my heart), or how good it make me feel to know he was right there, or how much easier it would be to breastfeed.

I told everyone that would listen before I had my baby that “the one thing he’s going to do is sleep in his crib, dammit” and he slept in it once. Once. I had to back pedal, and I’m sure people thought, “Oh ho, how did that sleeping in your crib work out for you, dummy?” but were too kind to say anything or I was too tired to hear.

Absolutely, try to figure out how you’re going to do things, but be totally prepared to toss them out the window and go with the flow and just say, “We’re going to try X but we’ll play it by ear.”

If you want to learn from more of my stupidity, check out all the things I said I’d never do with “When I have kids I will never ______”

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